


Safety Margin

by rallamajoop



Category: xxxHoLic
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-05-27
Updated: 2007-05-27
Packaged: 2017-11-09 02:17:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/450159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rallamajoop/pseuds/rallamajoop
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The kind of accidents that happen around Himawari are nothing to laugh at. Some of Watanuki's ways of dealing with the problem, however, are a different matter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> **Notes:** Dedicated to rusalkaz from over on LJ for giving me the image of Watanuki doing his usual Himawari-related-squee, but while simultaneously trying to hide from her behind Doumeki (and subsequently egging me on to do something with it). This is what resulted.
> 
> Contains spoilers for facts regarding Himawari up to around chapter 118 (Volume 10).

It was when they arrived at school that day that Doumeki first realised Watanuki was acting unusually. 'Unusual' was, of course, something of a relative term when applied to a boy who regularly saw invisible monsters and only could only about half the time remember how to talk without waving both arms in the air over his head, but this – this was odd even by Watanuki's standards, the odd part being that he seemed reluctant to set foot in any part of the corridor where Doumeki hadn't already been, Since they'd walked to school together it hadn't stood out up to this point, but now Watanuki – who had up until this date always made it perfectly clear that the more distance there was between them the better – was following him around like a shadow.

Doumeki would take a step, and Watanuki – while quite pointedly not paying him any sort of attention at all – would take a step too. Doumeki experimented with this once or twice, going one step at a time, just to make sure he wasn't going crazy – step, stop, step, stop. Sure enough, there was Watanuki doing the same, just a couple of paces behind. Doumeki could only imagine the reaction he was going to get should he question this behaviour aloud, however, so he took the best option remaining – he stopped mid-corridor and waited for the situation to explain itself.

Watanuki lasted nearly a whole thirty seconds before he gave in. "What the hell – are you just going to stand around in the corridor all day? We're meant to be in class in a minute!"

"I'm not in your way," Doumeki pointed out, strangely fascinated.

"No, but just – you've got to go ahead or…"

"Or what?"

"Or…"

"Morning Doumeki-kun! Oh, Watanuki-kun, you too!" Himawari's voice interrupted from down the hallway, accompanied by a friendly wave.

Watanuki's face flickered through a number of expressions, too fast for Doumeki to interpret before settling on something like his standard state of Himawari-induced glee. "Himawari-chan!" he called back, loud enough to ensure being heard over the distance between them.

Something was very wrong with this picture, Doumeki decided. Himawari was down the corridor. Watanuki was standing next to him. There was a distance of a number of metres in the middle, which Watanuki wasn't making any visible attempt to close. A couple of pieces started to click in Doumeki's head.

"Kunogi, I'm borrowing this guy for a while," he called down the corridor, then grabbed Watanuki by the wrist and dragged him into the nearest empty classroom.

Watanuki spluttered in inevitable rage. "What do you think you're doing…!"

"You," Doumeki cut him off, "are avoiding her."

"Where do you get these crazy ideas? I am not!" Watanuki snapped back.

"Yes you are. I was there," Doumeki reminded him.

"That _doesn't_ count as avoiding! I'm just – after what Yuuko said this morning it's just – look, _you have to know_ I'd never do anything like that!"

"What did Yuuko say?" Doumeki asked, latching on to the one important sounding part of the rambling.

Watanuki deflated, seeming to finally accept the fact that he wasn't going to get out of giving some sort of explanation. "She didn't _say_ anything," he grouched, "she just… implied stuff. You know what she's like."

"If you're this worked up she must have said something."

"She only said – okay, she just asked me whether I was sure I was so keen to see Himawari-chan, 'today of all days'," Watanuki explained petulantly.

"Why today?"

"She didn't say! And then she said something about keeping my distance, and then…"

"How serious did she look when she said that?"

"How serious? What difference does that make?"

"With Yuuko, all the difference." If Yuuko had been laughing at him, it probably wasn't anything important, and Watanuki was just overreacting. But if she'd meant to give him a real warning, this could mean serious danger. The things that happened around Himawari were nothing to be taken lightly.

"She, oh, fairly serious, I guess," Watanuki admitted. "But what am I supposed to do? I can't just not _see_ Himawari all day, how could I ever explain something like that? But as long as you stay around and I don't get too close to her, nothing too horrible can happen." It was clear that this conversation was forcing him to rationalise things which he would be reluctant to admit even to himself under other circumstances, let alone out loud, and the necessity of so much of Doumeki's presence was something he was accepting only under sufferance.

Doumeki folded his arms. "So you need me to stick around between you two all day?"

"Look, I… I'll make you whatever you want for lunch tomorrow, but…"

"Alright."

"…and… really?"

"Lunch for the rest of the week too," Doumeki added. It didn't hurt to make the best of these situations

" _Fine_. But if you request anything out of season, you're just going to have to deal with the fact you're not getting it."

* * *

It was a nice day, so art class took place outside. Doumeki wasn't strictly part of Watanuki and Himawari's class, but neither had he strictly been told he couldn't join them, so he decided there was enough leeway there. The look of only faintly angry relief on Watanuki's face when he sat down between the two was a little disconcerting.

"They're always tricky, these assignments, aren't they?" said Himawari, with her usual sunny charm. "They say we can choose anything we like as long as we draw it with the charcoal, but when you sit down there's always so much to choose from."

Watanuki, in Himawari's presence, was never at his most coherent, and the distance of the few metres which separated them did nothing to help matters, so it was no surprise to Doumeki that Himawari's next response was, "I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that."

"I said _anything drawn by the wonderful Himawari-chan is bound to be a work of art!_ " Watanuki sang, louder this time.

Himawari beamed at him with the clueless expression of someone who hasn't quite heard what was said but is sure this is an acceptable response.

Fortunately, art is a process that requires enough concentration that there wasn't too much more talk until the class was nearly over. Himawari remained thankfully silent on the subject of the distance Watanuki had oh-so-subtly been keeping from her all day, although that might have been because she probably spent normal days wondering why he let himself get so close. When class was wrapping up, however, it was only natural Himawari wouldn't be sure whether her picture had come out okay, and just as naturally, Watanuki had to reassure her.

"Are you sure it looks alright?" said Himawari, holding up the page for his inspection. She'd barely used half the paper, and through Watanuki's glasses that distance away, it couldn't be more than a blur.

Doumeki held out a helpful hand so that Himawari could pass her sketchpad across without getting up, and handed it over to Watanuki. The boy was left locked in visible indecision over whether it would be safe for him to touch it even after going through the Doumeki-safety-zone, so he snapped at Doumeki to hold it up properly, examined it for a few seconds and declared, "Of course it's good, Himawari-chan! It came out beautifully!"

Himawari beamed at him some more as Doumeki passed her pad back. "Do you really think so? Can I see yours too, Watanuki-kun?"

The other pad was handed over, and held up for Himawari's inspection so she could do her own gushing over Watanuki's picture, then handed safely back again.

Doumeki wondered whether this was what the actors who played the human wall between star-crossed lovers in those bizarre Shakespeare comedies felt like. There had to be a better way of dealing with this.

* * *

His class let out late just before lunch, so it took him a few extra minutes to make it to the spot where Watanuki and Himawari were waiting for him. Himawari was starting to look a little puzzled by now, but Watanuki looked close to frantic and calmed down only slightly when Doumeki sat down.

Doumeki made a decision.

"Kunogi, if you're free, Asagi needs some help getting all the photocopies from the last student council sorted before next period," he told her as he sat down.

"Oh, of course." Himawari packed up her lunch and got to her feet right away. She gave them both an apologetic smile. "I'll see you both later."

Watanuki gaped at her until she'd rounded a corner out of sight, then turned around at gaped at Doumeki. "You just _lied_ to her!"

"Not really. Asagi really could use the help," Doumeki pointed out, opening his own lunch. "You aren't going to be able to relax all day if she's around."

"But you didn't have to…"

" _You_ weren't going to. You're an awful liar."

" _Lying is not something I want to be good at!_ "

"You couldn't have told her the truth about why you needed her to stay away either, could you?"

Watanuki looked mortified. "Of course not! There's no way I could ever tell her something as horrible as that!"

Doumeki nodded. "She must be reminded of what happens to people around her often enough without something like that from you. Besides, you can see her tomorrow. Yuuko said this was just for today, right? Isn't it better if you can pretend things are no worse than normal?"

Watanuki was not going to be so easily mollified. "You didn't have to get involved! It's not your business, and if anything did happen it wouldn't be your fault."

"I've been involved since you told me about it this morning," Doumeki told him seriously, locking the shorter boy in his gaze. "There's a difference between fault and responsibility. And if anything happened to you today…"

"Not _this_ again!"

"…I'd know I could have prevented it," Doumeki finished, as if Watanuki's outburst had never interrupted him.

Watanuki blinked at him mutely for several seconds. "Is that what you've been not saying every time you start that?"

"Not necessarily," Doumeki told him innocently.

Watanuki appeared to decide this was one of those things he didn't want to know. He stared down at his barely touched bento box.

"It's always going to be like this, isn't it?" he said after a bit.

Doumeki didn't say, "Like what?" just left him the space to continue when he felt like it.

"I mean, with Himawari," Watanuki went on. "With me always hiding behind you when she's around. I want to see her, but these days I have to wonder whether something terrible is about to happen every time I do."

"The alternative is never to talk to her again."

"I'd never do that! I couldn't stand to even if we weren't the only people she's got!" Watanuki was gripping his dead finger with his good hand, probably not even consciously aware he was doing it. "But every time I see her now, part of me is this little bit scared of her, and when Yuuko says things like that it only makes it worse."

"That's only natural. It's not your fault. Or hers."

Watanuki shot him an accusing look. "You think I'm crazy, don't you? To still want to spend time with her anymore."

"I don't think that."

Watanuki sighed, seemed to pull himself together a bit, and finally made a proper start on his lunch.

Well, it was turning into that sort of moment anyway. "There's nothing weird about liking someone like that, even if they do cause you that much trouble," Doumeki told him. "Especially if it's not their fault things happen."

"Things like road accidents and falling out of windows," said Watanuki gloomily.

"Near falls from rooftops and getting attacked by spirits?" Doumeki put in.

"Well excuse me! It isn't like I can help any of that!"

"Isn't that what I just said?"

Watanuki stared at him. "But we were talking about Himawari."

" _You_ were talking about Himawari." Doumeki corrected him, with a look that probably conveyed the impression of an eye roll despite not actually performing one.

* * *

The bell rang not long after that, and Watanuki didn't get the chance to ask what Doumeki had really been talking about. In context, the answer should have been obvious, but it was also so patently ridiculous that it the idea slid straight past his brain several times on the way back to class before he caught on at last, by which stage Doumeki was safely far away in the opposite direction. But once in his head, it stuck there like chewing gum on the bottom of a shoe, and refused to leave him alone for the rest of the day.

* * *

When Watanuki arrived at the shop after school, he was still so distracted he nearly walked into a gatepost, something that hadn't happened since he was first getting used to the changes to his eyesight. Yuuko rarely met him outside the shop, but naturally, today she was right there to see it happen.

"A little upset, are we? Did something unpleasant happen today?"

"I stayed away from Himawari just like you said, so don't start." Watanuki was honestly rather glad of change of subject by this point. "Nothing unpleasant happened, so I don't know what you were worried about. I can't even begin to imagine what you thought the problem was going to be!"

"Can't you?" Yuuko wasn't letting him off the hook so easily. "Why, if Himawari had spent the day with you, you and Doumeki would have completely missed your chance for that little talk over lunch."

Watanuki spluttered at her in pure, incoherent fury. " _That_ was the bad luck you were talking about?" This was easier now he was back up to speed, it saved the need to think so much. "How could not hearing _that_ from _him_ be unlucky?! It should be completely the opposite!"

"Ah, Watanuki," Yuuko sighed, though there was still the evilest kind of mischief in her tone. "You still have no idea about the value of information. Can't you even begin to imagine where just a hint might take you?"

"I don't have any idea what you're talking about!" Watanuki insisted. "What he said was more than I ever needed to know!"

"Careful, Watanuki. If people knew what they really needed," said Yuuko, a new note of seriousness in her voice, "running this shop would be a very different business."

Watanuki managed to carefully avoid figuring out what she meant by that until the end of the day, but even he couldn't put it off much longer than that.


	2. Epilogues

### Epilogue 1

Judging by the racket that was coming from the corridor, either there was an elephant loose in the school or Watanuki was finally through denial and on to being angry. Angry in a manner than involved a lot of loud stomping that only finished once he was standing right under Doumeki's nose.

Doumeki took his time looking up from the book he was studying. "Something wrong?"

"I don't know, what could _possibly be wrong?!_ " Watanuki wasn't quite shouting, though that may be because he was leaving himself some volume to grow into later. "You _know_ what's wrong! It's all your fault!"

"This is about what I said yesterday, isn't it?" said Doumeki, because while dragging out the issue until Watanuki admited it himself might have been entertaining, he figured it wouldn't hurt him to cooperate at least a little here.

"What do you think!? And what were you thinking, coming out with something like that!"

Doumeki gave him a bland look. "Other than that I'd be lucky if you caught on at all?"

"Catch _on?!_ " Watanuki complained. "Catch on to you…" here he turned a shade of red that had more to do with embarrassment than anger, "… _liking me_ the same way I… _like_ Himawari. You _meant_ that?!"

"I didn't make it up just to irritate you, if that's what you're asking."

"That was your idea of a… a _confession?_ " The last word came out in an angry hiss, which would not be fairly described as 'conspiratal', but it seemed likely that, given he'd had ample time to ramp up, the only thing keeping him from yelling was the idea of the rest of the school hearing them.

"It came up in conversation," Doumeki reminded him with a shrug.

"But you can't like me!" Watanuki insisted, sounding faintly desperate.

"Why not?"

"It's not like you! At _all_."

Doumeki himself was comfortably certain that Watanuki was not the resident expert on that subject, and had no excuse for not remembering which of them here was. "What makes you say so sure?"

"You don't like anyone like that! Everyone at school knows you turn down an invitation to go out from someone every other week! Why me?"

"Don't ask me. I must have some sort of thing for idiots," Doumeki told him nonchalantly.

Watanuki turned an interesting colour. "Why you…! Only you could tell me you like me and then say something like that!"

"You were expecting flattery?"

"Well I'm sorry but I wasn't expecting you to answer a question like that by insulting me!"

"You'd prefer I wrote you sappy love poems?" Doumeki offered. "Because I could try, but I don't think they'd turn out well."

"What kind of insane person would want that!"

"What do you want then?" Doumeki caught his eye and gave him a stare he wasn't letting the other boy weasel out of. Watanuki faltered for a moment in the force of it, then matched it right back.

"I wanted not to have to hear any of this from you at all!" Watanuki was clearly doing his best, but this didn't come out sounding as serious as he was probably aiming for. "I was perfectly happy not knowing about your weird thoughts about me!"

"That would mean lying about it," Doumeki pointed out. "Is that what you want?"

"You wouldn't have to lie! You could just not mention it! It's what you're supposed to do with these sort of thoughts!" Now he sounded faintly frantic.

"Why does it bother you so much? It doesn't change anything if you don't want it to."

"Well that should be obvious! It's because…"

Doumeki cut him off. "Because now you have to seriously think about whether you like me back."

"I've thought about it already!" Watanuki hissed. "I _don't_ like you back. And I didn't have to think very hard!"

There was a pause where they both looked at each other, just short of long enough that Watanuki would have started to fidget or say something else just to fill the gap, or even (horror) come to the conclusion he might have been unnecessarily harsh in that last bit, before Doumeki said, "Then there isn't a problem, right?"

Watanuki gave him another angry glare, but, for once, seemed to be at a loss for words.

Watanuki really was a lousy liar. Doumeki could tell that, beyond getting loudly confused and angry, Watanuki honestly hadn't let himself think about any of this long enough to come to any sort of calm conclusion yet – if he had he wouldn't have responded so loudly.

"It would still be true if I hadn't told you," he said, more softly. "You can always ignore it if it's easier that way." Watanuki still looked somewhere between awkward and furious, and Doumeki decided it was past time to change the subject and let him off the hook.

"Did you get an explanation out of Yuuko about what was supposed to happen yesterday?" he asked casually.

Well meant, perhaps, but Watanuki's eyes widened as though several of the muscles responsible for maintaining their usual shape had just panicked and gone running for the exit. "WHAT!? That's got nothing to do with this!" he shrieked.

Doumeki blinked at him, wondering how operation Innocent Question had backfired so spectacularly. "…I didn't mean that it did. Just wondered."

Watanuki's reaction was an abortive pause as his brain caught up. The look on his face said that the idea that Doumeki had actually been starting a new subject there had finally occurred to him, a new kind of embarrassment right on its tail. He flailed a bit more for good measure. "Well good! Because there was no reason why it should!"

"Okay?" said Doumeki vaguely, as Watanuki stormed off back down the corridor again, still stomping hard enough to make the windows rattle.

So – a thing for idiots. Still about the best theory he has.

### Epilogue 2

The first Doumeki saw of Himawari that morning, she was heading away from him down the corridor, and, on a whim or a hunch or whatever you'd call that sort of impulse, he followed her. She wasn't in sight when he rounded the corner – however, the door to one of the empty classrooms in that stretch of hall had been left slightly ajar.

"He's alright now, isn't he?" Himawari asked as soon as he stepped inside, her smile hopeful. "Watanuki-kun, I mean."

"Yeah," he replied without thinking about it. "It was just for yesterday. Things will be… back to normal from now." He couldn't quite make himself say 'fine', because they never really were, but this was as close as they need to be. "It was nothing personal. He never even noticed you realised."

Himawari's smile widened. "I'm glad." Maybe she'd caught something in his face left over from earlier that morning, because she added, "Was there something else?"

"I let him know how I feel about him. Yesterday," Doumeki admitted.

Himawari only looked surprised for a moment before the smile came back. "That's wonderful! What did he say?"

Doumeki recalled the conversation from earlier that morning. "He's still getting used to the idea," he reported, diplomatically. "You don't mind?"

"Why should I mind?" Himawari asked, all innocent puzzlement.

"You're the one he's in love with."

Again, there was that surprise that doesn't last any longer than a moment. "But it's not the same for me – you know I could never…" she trailed off, shook herself, and said her last with an honesty which was heartbreaking to hear. "It's much better for him to have someone else, like you."

She didn't add, "And the more you're around him, the more I can be too," because she wasn't selfish, and he knew she wasn't bitter. The happiness she already got from being around Watanuki was more than she ever believed she'd deserve.

Watanuki had that sort of effect on people.

Himself as well.


End file.
